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Bill Watches Movies

May 20, 2023

In which two acknowledged masters of the horror genre meet again under the Hammer Films banner, but this time, instead of one giving life to the other, one is decidedly trying to end the life of the other, as Sir Peter Cushing as Doctor Van Helsing, and Sir Christopher Lee as Count Dracula, chase each other through hell...


Apr 15, 2023

In which a Gentle Canadian Hobo with the aid of a Beautiful Woman On The Run, and a Sage Teacher With A Secret, discovers his true family history, finds love (maybe) and learns how to channel and use his psychic powers, which includes the ability to make people’s heads explode.

Bonus points for Self-Trepanning, Angry...


Mar 18, 2023

In which we discover that crime actually does pay, and pay quite well. Starring a Gentleman Thief with Dreamy Grey Eyes, a Buxom Blonde Assistant, and a Disheveled Always One Step Behind Police Inspector, we travel to Italy for a very good Mario Bava Comic Book Movie, in the Diabolik Cinematic Universe.

Bonus points for...


Feb 18, 2023

In which we have a meeting of The Creature From The Black Lagoon Fan Club, and decide whether or not to allow a new member from the coast of California into the organization. They seem to have the right amount of lust, aggression, age and close proximity to water, so we’ll at least give them a chance to plead...


Jan 14, 2023

In which The Greater Tokyo Area is yet again attacked by a giant monster, and the combined military needs their collective fats pulled out of the fire by an astronaut team that makes F Troop look like Mensa members.

Bonus points for Bic lighter based jet engines, awkward and unrequited love, girls taking showers...